Halloweiner!

I am officially lame when it comes to Halloween. I’ve had tons of fun on the day and gone to some great parties, but when it comes to costuming I am, like many other things in my life, totally lazy. This started back in childhood—we have a photo of my sisters and I all dressed up and while they were in cute and flamboyant get ups, I was literally wearing a sheet with eyes cut out of it. You can actually see my school uniform and loafers on underneath, because I was so lazy, I didn’t even change out of my school clothes to go trick or treating at night. Other lazy costumes I have thrown together: 1. A Chinaman with a Fu Man Chu beard. Yes, kind of racist, but I was young and all I had to do was wear my Chinese Pajamas and a long stick on beard/moustache. 2. A fat lady. All I had to do was put pillows under an old smock. 3. A punk. I actually wore my regular clothes, but put “punk” makeup on. My regular clothes were not remotely punk—I was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and a baseball jacket. 4. A tranny. I basically wore a skanky number, put 5′o’clock shadow on my face and stuffed a tennis ball in my pants. 5. Pregnant white trash. Easy, lazy. Required buying nothing except a 40 of malt liquor, pillow in my shirt, a fake black eye.

Tomorrow I have to go to a party, and I have another lazy costume idea with Josh—Don and Betty Draper. This is lame, unoriginal and boring, but I am blonde and he is brunette and it requires us to buy absolutely nothing. I have a 60s dress from my vintage shopping days still hanging in my closet, and he has a suit and can gel his hair back. So I’m happy we have at least something to wear, but at the same time, is it totally vain to go as basically the best looking TV couple on earth?? And do you think he’ll get mad if I smoke cigarettes? It’s just in the spirit of Halloween!